"I sued your ass." - Gary Mayer
"I cut my hand on your shipping box" - Linda Ranier
"Man, I told you to keep your hands off my sister." - Paul Bunker
"This item ruined Thanksgiving." - Marjorie Simon
"My lawyer advised me not to write this." - Kevin Baker
"I shouldn't have opened it at night." - Rachel King
"I had to explain this to HR." - Jason Olson
"The box made a sound." - Howard Nessman
"My cat refuses to be in the same room with it." - Allison Karpe
"I showed this to my therapist." - Monica Eaton
"My neighbors saw the delivery." - Luis Martez
"Someone knocked on my door afterwards." - Vanessa Burnett.
"I need to stop shopping at night." - Brian Jenkins